In the words of Conway Twitty ...

It's been a little while since the last post and thousands have e-mailed or stopped me in the club to ask, when da hook goin drop? And I always answer by saying, "what?" But after much procrastination and two catastrophic natural disasters, the H is O.

Life continues post-Katrina, which I noticed caused a run on hard candy at local grocery stores. What is it about a Category 5 hurricane that makes people go, "batteries, bottled water, candles, ... crap, where's the hard candy?! Honey, you forgot hard candy!!"

Everyone I know made it fine through the hurricane, which unbeknownst to us here in Baton Rouge, would cause its share of headaches. Whether it be the increased traffic, lines at gas stations, rampant rumors, or 18 people squeezing into an apartment above us, marching in place until 2 in the morning, and yelling off their balcony like they're performing Shakespeare meets "Coming to America," everyone has a Katrina story.

I personally worked a 24/7 information hotline that made me feel like I was helping somehow, and yet depressed because there is no easy way to tell someone you have no idea where their loved ones are, or where they can sleep that night.

But life goes on, as do the sounds of a hundred asses exploding across the hall from my office.

Seriously, I have one of the nicest views anyone's ever had. Every day, rain or shine, I look out my window and see a beautiful lake and dozens of sorority girls jogging. If only, there was a large screen outside that played "Rudy" on a constant loop, life would be good.

Anyway, on the opposite side of the room from that window is my door, and across the hall from that door is the men's room. Inside, unspeakable noises like the gurgling of hell hounds pervade my work. You try to act mature about it, but when it sounds like the first chair tuba player is having an off-night across the hall from you, it's hard.

So, in summation, if you wondered where the posts had been for the last couple months, the short answer is, I've been having trouble with the tuba lately.

Just kidding. That was gross.